they call her insatiable

in case anyone missed the memo

Sun, 14 Aug 2005 02:04:32 GMT

i'm over at washeduplolita now.
new journal. add me.

missed connection.

Wed, 29 Jun 2005 05:01:56 GMT

i've only known about this site a week. i wonder how many i've missed.

actress dropping off her headshots at 7444 wilshire blvd.

Okay, it was really too weird of a coincidence.

Last week we met in the elevator; I was on my way up to a meeting with my graphic designer, you were on your way up to drop off your headshot at a casting agent's office. You joked about the fact that all the movies on your resume sound like porn films. I got off at the fifth floor....you kept riding up.

Figured I'd never see you again, right? WRONG.

This week, I came back for a follow up meeting with my designer, and we run into each other AGAIN in the elevator! Uncanny! You were on your way to drop off some more pictures for the casting office. You pressed the button for the 5th floor--my floor. I asked you, aren't you actually on the 8th floor? I think I remembered what floor you were from last week, whereas you remembered what floor I was on.

What are the chances that two people, neither of whom work in a building, and both of whom only go to that building once every so often, should see each other twice in a row?!? Crazy.

I'll probably be going back in for another meeting in a week or so. If I see you there I AM GOING TO FLIP OUT.

By the way, to jog your memory: I was a cute Asian guy with blonde streaks in his hair, iPod earbuds dangling out of his shirt. You asked me what I did; I told you I wrote music for commercials and movies.

Let's go ride some more elevators together!

this is in or around Across from Flynt Building

no -- it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

yes -- ok to transmit this posting into outer space

Tue, 21 Jun 2005 06:32:16 GMT

it sounds like someone's brushing a toothbrush in my left ear.

i spent four hours talking to number 1. and then told 2 i needed to get fucked. 3 is the only one i care about but it's cause he's the only one i can't have. i'm planning on seeing number 4 tonight and talking to him for once. i posted a missed connection for number 5, and i'm working on how to see number 6 again.

i think that covers all my bases.
jessica name these numbers please. i wanna see if our wire is connected.

my life is so much fun right now. i love it. i love la. i love my friends. i'm a happy girl who still listens to depressing music.

Mon, 13 Jun 2005 11:04:46 GMT

it takes to much out of me to catch you up on my life.

things are different now. you're in, or you're out.

Tue, 07 Jun 2005 19:44:52 GMT

life is on the up up and up!

Sun, 05 Jun 2005 11:47:02 GMT

i know one of you fools is trying to break into my journal. i'm seriously not that interesting. cut that shit out.

Mon, 30 May 2005 11:33:55 GMT

ewww i must be getting really desperate. i just checked out a picture of michael jackson.

Fri, 27 May 2005 23:47:53 GMT

great night last night. great morning this morning....greeeeeatt.
i'll make a secret post later. i'm going hiking to reflect.

a couple weeks in pictures!

Sat, 21 May 2005 22:30:07 GMT

Sun, 15 May 2005 11:33:16 GMT

my goal is twenty one days with no form of contact. i will not return his phone calls. i will not instant message him back. he just messaged me at 4:24 in the morning. jess just left. i'm alone. i have no willpower. but i am staying strong.

at the end. i get a trip to the zoo, horseback riding, and a single girlfriend that doesn't drink coke.

we went rollerskating today on the boardwalk from santa monica to venice.

i told my mom vegas on accident. and then she said i must be tired.

then i told her i must have gambling on the brain. and she said gordon has been gambling with his life.

he keeps peeing on the steps and she keeps putting him outside. how i love little gordo.

i had a great weekend. and its not done yet.

cory the kidd.

Tue, 10 May 2005 10:36:49 GMT

I tried to fill your void with a cowboy named Cory the Kidd.
The only light this late at night came from the burn of his cigarette.
We talked over ashtrays and pots of dead ivy. The ones I soaked in dirty water.
He told me wasn’t a texture guy himself.
He hated pulp and nuts in brownies.
“Crunchy or smooth?” I inquired. “When it comes to peanut butter.”
“Crunchy..” he said as smooth as black glass that’s been tossed in sands and salt and earth.
“Smooth..” I sighed, depressed. Defeated

I saw him swagger in on Wednesday. And Saturday he was sweet.
I curled inside a balmy blanket, that still smelled of you. I tried to take my mind of things. And change subjects like pentathlons.
“Tell me more,” I purred.
“I’ve always had a thing for cowboys..”
We retired inside after an angry man from the apartment building next door screamed shut-up.
At the time, I didn’t make out the words. I was far to wrapped up in trying to get myself wrapped up.

He’d be leaving in six days. And I only had five to make this into a whirlwind romance.
The sort where we’d write longwinded letters of what could have been. Where we used a lot of if only’s and talk about the one that got away. Where we’d discuss Dostoyevsky and Henry Miller and the importance of fictional non fiction. We’d talk about what it’s like being brought up religiously, the way people say the word “mElk”, and how sometimes, only sometimes, casual sex seems to be all that’s left.

Three hours into the night and one into the morning I gave up on trying to get to know him.
I gave him the one thing I couldn’t give you.
Cause it meant so much nothing.
I gave him chocolate and water and he smoked on the back porch. I crawled up inside of him and he felt silky as milk. He smelled like onyx ashes. He tasted like St. Louis.

So Cory the Kidd packed up and we got into my car. On the way to the hotel I saw a mangy looking animal in the street.
“Oh no.” I said, “Is that an animal?”
“No.” He said. “It’s just a plastic bag. Oh wait. That? Yeah.” and he removed his sunglasses. “It looks like a cocker spaniel.”
And then it started blowing away.
“It just some leaves,” he said, “brush, maybe, weeds.”
“Tumble…weed??” I giggled.
And he smiled and tipped his hat at me.
And with that he was off to the motor lodge.
And I was spared four days of keeping my mind off of you.
I’m just keepin’ it casual, baby.
That’s all that I can do.
And on a side note. He bought the hat last week.

it's a sham.

Wed, 04 May 2005 05:08:42 GMT

was so much fun! we met so many great people and danced away the night! we rode dolphins and horses and i made out with some hot dude. jessica told me she wants to be with my exclusively. i had a great steak meal and the most delicious shrimp cocktail ever. i drank pina colada's in our wave pool. i won 900 dollars. i can't wait to go back!

i thought that was jess in the back for a second.

Fri, 29 Apr 2005 10:35:31 GMT

Fri, 29 Apr 2005 04:53:40 GMT

guh..did he seriously just flake? like? seriously?

Fri, 29 Apr 2005 04:47:12 GMT

[Bad username: <img src=]
this week in pictures.

i don't like proving myself.

Thu, 21 Apr 2005 11:33:37 GMT

went hiking today with paige.
bought a mini screwdriver.
i talked to my dad while he was in the hospital and this is how the convo went:

me: i need a mini screwdriver
him: home depot
me: i gotta go. my mini pizza is done.
him: mini screwdrivers...mini pizzas...you're more hung up on minis than mickey.
me: hahahah i love you dad.

he gets out tomorrow. second stint in his heart. guuuh.

i went dancing tonight with jessica bertoni. i love this woman. she's all the girlfriend with none of the jealousy or sexual tension for that matter.

i tried to place my crush on someone else tonight. it didn't go exactly how i planned.

i also rolled down the window on the way to brite spot and almost got me and jess killed.

i'm keeping myself away.

Thu, 21 Apr 2005 02:47:18 GMT

what a beauty...hahahahah

i was reminiscing about 7th grade. and i got to thinking about the little things.

for instance.
the first question one was asked after announcing that they got felt up was , "over or under the bra?!"
there used to be an option.
we also used to have make-out parties. play spin the bottle. and play 7 minutes in heaven.
and when we danced with our current crush we were always asked, " did you guys freak?!"
freak! ha! that was like a dance term we used! remember that!

this of course was before i gave a blowjob to my bf in 7th grade and had to start seeing the school psycholigist since said blowjob was the subject of a passed note that got intercepted.

ahhh. the good ol' days.

Wed, 20 Apr 2005 10:46:04 GMT

please keep me away from him.

my life/week in picture documentation format:

Tue, 19 Apr 2005 07:35:35 GMT

(he's high. i have no excuse.)

wednesday

Tue, 19 Apr 2005 05:33:11 GMT

to be spoken with a southern sort of accent:

The man in the oversized red sweater kept breathing whisky in my ear as he asked me if I was taken.
“A girl like yous,” he said, “a girl like yous is always taken.”
I nodded and said I was, to avoid some sort of confrontation. He told me about drinking bottles of wine on the santa monica pier on summer nights. Smoking a joint, listening to jams. I knew he was the type to call them “jams” before he even called them that.
He asked me if twice if I was taken and you nodded and said I was. To avoid some sort of confrontation. And it was chilly and I was wearing a low cut shirt and I kept yelling at you for sneaking peeks. Even though I wanted you to.
“Tell him to fuck off,” you said. “Tell him you’ve got a boyfriend and he’s in a band.”
“But I don’t.” I said.
“What about that one guy?”
“Fictional. I made him up to make you mad.”
But I said it like “maaaad” and trailed off in a sexy sort of voice.
And I traced little hearts and spirals and shapes on the inside of your jeans that you bleached to match mine.
And I rested my little head on your big shoulder.
“I went to jet rag today.” you said.
“You were on la brea and you didn’t tell me?”
“Well I had to meet Mesa for dinner.”
“Mesa?”
“Mesa. My girlfriend.
We got back together.”
“Oh.. Yeah.” I said. And then decided to make the ,“yeah” a , “yeah?”
To make it sound like I was interested or something.
After a long awkward pause and the removal of my head from your shoulder I said,
“So um. I guess this is what I came to give you.
Songs to make - up to and songs to make - out to.”
I giggled. And I smiled. And I walked off. Strutting a bit more than I usually do. Knowing you was watching me.
I listened to sad songs on the way home.
I don’t know what I was thinking.
I got home and unpacked my duffel bag.
I told you, “Don’t you dare make out with someone else to my make-out cd.”
“Never.” was all you said.
Never.

Wed, 13 Apr 2005 18:21:29 GMT

only when it's convenient for you, right?

Tue, 12 Apr 2005 09:31:06 GMT

desperate times call for desperate measures?

Tue, 12 Apr 2005 06:30:41 GMT

oh and in other news:

i'm dying inside from lack of sexual stimualation. no wait. i'd like to retract that. plenty of stimulation. absolutely no action.

malibu.

Tue, 12 Apr 2005 06:26:50 GMT

took a trip to malibu today, and somewhere in between reading "untitled" and "post office". and somewhere between breaking my glasses and making false accusations. it got entirely too windy. so i packed up and shipped out and drove to oxnard.
i got a few jewelry items and killed time before making a grand ol' entrance, or rather, having one made at coogies.

josh brought tim and it was like old times. i had a banana milkshake and three various types of fish. the waitress told me she missed me and she reprimanded josh many times when i stopped coming around. she said she hopes to see more of me and josh shook his head teasingly telling her, "not to encourage me."

i saw a liscense plate on the ride home that said, "melove JL", and took that as an omen of sorts.
i got a ticket and am now contemplating suicide because i dread having to tell my parents about it. although i'm sure they'd rather pay the fine than see my bloody entrails smooshed against some railing running the edge of kanan dume.

he called me late tonight and told me he's "trying to get better." not to persuade anything. it was more or less an empty statement.

all that aside, i know we'll never work, and i'm sure you are all sick of hearing about him, but he did instill in me some sort of standard for the kind of treatmant i deserve, or rather what i shouldn't settle for.

i'm afraid relationship m has run it's course. without even using the detonation speech.

it was always a shot in the dark.

Mon, 11 Apr 2005 00:55:53 GMT

i had way too much fun last night. most fun since new york 2005. solid crew and i came up 40 bucks.
i'm addicted to roulette now.
i was up for 26 straight hours. and practiced my dismantling/detonation speech to current like interest on the way home to avoid nodding off.

but he caught me off gaurd today. but he usually does that. man oh man. i'm sick of making excuses for undeserving souls.

in other news. i can't get along with high maintenance types. angel left for europe without even saying goodbye. and gordon is perfect as ever, despite rumors you hear that might claim otherwise.